Friday, August 9, 2013

In Which I Get Incredibly Wordy


This morning Gus and I went on an exhilarating shopping adventure.
It all started last night when I was asking my husband about throw pillows.
“What about a lot of eclectic throw pillows to brighten it up and bring in some character?” I said “a colorful one, a canvas one, a cute one with a quote!” I used arm movements and implied explanation points, you guys. I got excited. I got Pinterest involved. I was on Etsy.

This was all in attempt to save the steal of a sofa that I got off craigslist a couple of months ago. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep it. The nerve. And so, throw pillows.
I was showing him my etsy/Pinterest/google images finds, to which he responded with,”I’m tired.” To which I responded with “well can I buy some pillows just to see?” to which he responded with “yes”. Which I am fairly certain he just meant, “pinterest is dumb, let’s go watch Frasier”.

But see the thing is, he likes Pinterest. That just a way to tell you how he loves Frasier. More than tossed salads and scrambled eggs. Which as his wife, I know how he loves salad and eggs. Except not together. Although, maybe he does like them together. Hmmm…

Anyway, so this morning Gus and I went on a exhilarating pillow shopping adventure. Kohl’s first. We found a large soft furry cream colored pillow that makes me think of how clouds must feel. We took turns rubbing our noses into and giggling. We also found a Curious George friend and fell in love with him instantly. Oh, and a rug that now lives under my kitchen table that Jared will love because he loves me and I love it and this is how these things work.

Target next but not much to report other than my baby fell asleep in the carrier so I was left to roam for a good 45 minutes. And the miracle that even after a full 45 minutes of solitary shopping I left with only one thing. A photo album that will house my wedding photos.

Heads up, when you get pregnant 3 months after marriage, things like printing/framing/photo albuming photos just don’t get done. And so two years in, I am looking through wedding photos thinking who are these perfectly coiffed babies with well rested eyes?

And this leaves us in the part of the adventure where we are driving away from Target and I am talking to Gus about such exciting things as he sporadically presses the paw of his musical lion, which I take as an encouraging “I hear ya, mom” and “uh huh” and the occasional “then what happened?”

That’s when we decide we should go to Lowe’s because I have never been to Lowe’s without my dad or my husband. And I am a mom now! And if I can’t walk into Lowe’s and know what’s what well then! So to Lowe’s we go. And don’t you know it, I do not know what’s what at Lowe’s! I head in fast and quick because thats how people walk at Lowe’s. And before I know it there are like 3 of these Lowe’s professional sorts behind me. Ya know, your typical hard-hatted contractor type or maybe just somepeople’s dads.
So, these guys are barreling through knowing exactly which aisles they are headed. And I stop to browse an end cap when one of the guys huffs his breath at me, shakes his head, and speed walks around me. He has a measuring tape attached to his hip.

So, while at the Lowe’s, I pick up three cans of spray paint. And head to the Garden Center to talk to the plants. I ponder buying a plant or at least instagramming one. All the while my toddler baby gives me this look like “you can’t handle a plant”.
He’s right.
So I leave the plants. Uninstagrammed. And purchase my spray paint.

*here lies the uninstagrammed photo of a pretty plant that surely would not have faired well at my house. good looking out, Gus.*

Last stop. Good ol’ TJ Maxx where I feel much more at home. I find another throw pillow. It is canvas and has a bird and you know, when cluelessly decorating, you should just put a bird on it. So there’s that. There was also the purchase of a candle that I smelled and never didn’t want to not smell.
Are you following all of this?

Finally we head home, and I plop my new pillows on my sofa and WahBam! Mama did good.
And that’s the tale of how my steal of a sofa was saved by a couple of throw pillows. Plus some other long winded jargon.

Tune in next week, when I give you the play by play of me renting a redbox. Just kidding.

This just in: Jared doesn’t mind egg in his salad. The more you know.

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