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If You

If you told him the library was for reading books, he wouldn't believe you. Not a bit. Not when there are toys and and a grand staircase.
If you told him that libraries are for quiet voices, he would squeal his loudest squeal over and over until everyone was adoring him, even the librarians.
If you sat in a comfy chair and proceeded to whisper read, he would just look back for long enough to let you think he might just come sit right beside you and lay his head on your shoulder and point to all the animals as you make quiet animal noises and he'd giggle sweetly.
If you lead yourself to believe all that, then be prepared to have your thought bubble popped as you turn and see him halfway up the staircase. Oy!
If you come over, August will be happy as a camel on a Wednesday (you've seen that commercial, right?) to show you our thriving rock garden.
If you look interested enough, he will pick a rock out for you. He will lift it way in the air and he'll gasp at how wonderful this must be for you. Then he will walk/run it over to you.
If you say thank you and lend out your hand to accept his generous gift, he will just decide to keep it for himself.
If you laugh, he will do this as many times as you let him. This is his only joke. And he is committed.


  1. Nice library! (except for the carpet..oh, that carpet!)
    Love your rock garden. That's what Erica wants..I'm sure she's jealous!

  2. p.s. the "prove you're not a robot by typing in the code" is a bit ridiculous! I had to refresh it 3 times. I'm surprised it doesn't want to swab my mouth, too.

  3. Yeah, the carpet is bad. Jared asked me yesterday how many ladybugs did I think had to die to make that carpet.

  4. I thought of you this morning with the "if you".
    Mine is "If you flush the toilet when you wake up at 6am, then Sam will come running upstairs."
    Those exposed pipes, while cool looking, make for a very unfortunate alarm clock.

  5. Haha! Never thought of that about his bedroom! Time to implement a no flush policy until at least 7am.


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