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We are the Mothers, the Keepers of our Babies

I have a problem.

It all started when, much to my husband's approval, Apple released iOS7. 
I didn't jump right in. I waited. I read all the news about how people hated it. I read all the news about people loving it. I watched as my fascinated husband sat rotating his iPad in his palms as he watched the background of the apps slightly move. A feature that did not go unappreciated by my better half.

He oohed and he ahhed. And I gave in.
I handed him my iPad and said I was ready to update. He gleamed.
And then he handed it back, unupdated.
According to him, I did not have enough storage space.
How rude!
I do not have a lot of apps.
Or downloads.
Or music.
But you know what I have?
I have an adorable baby.
An adorable baby that I don't know how to not take photos of all day every day.

I have a problem.

Jared misses so much while he is at work, so I find it in my job description to document August's every meal, his every outfit change, and anytime he makes a cute face, which is all the time.
And oh, all the videos of him walking. It's like I can't not.
I have a problem.

Do you know what else I have a problem with? Deleting them.
I know I can upload them or put them on a hard drive. But oy! I just want them there, so easily accessible.
That way, once he falls asleep, I can go back in time to lunch earlier that day. Or last week, when he walked around adorably babbling to himself. Or a month ago when he was just a little summer baby. Or months ago to those first wobbly unsure yet brave steps.
I need them all.
I worry I will forget them if they end up on some hard drive somewhere in our clutter.
I want them as tangible as a swipe of my finger.
To me, it's the magic that is the iPad.
It feeds my mama crazy.
Fat and full.
Maybe one day, I'll do the iOS7 thing.  But probably not until once iOS9 is out.
And maybe one day, I'll sit in my house, up to my ears in hard drives of what it is to be the quintessence of a new mom during this iPhone-iPad-Instagram era. I'll review each terribly blurry photo of my little diapered baby. And when I do, I hope to realize that while it is incredibly nice to see photos of my baby, I won't need them like I think I do.
I'll remember his giggles. And the wonderful way he smelled. And how his wobbly legs got up and walked around this house everyday. And how his chocolate eyes shine in the sunlight. And, probably, every single stinkin' cute face.
No photos needed.
I'll have these memories all stored up.
Because that's what we do.
We are the mothers, the keepers of our babies.


  1. So true! In the past couple of years, I decided to put the camera down and enjoy the moment to be stored in my memory. It is a bit freeing :D


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